After a million years spent trying to fix the HTML I was apparently fucking up, I finally thought I had the right idea. Testing it out, I searched "Smerby" on Google.
Surprise, surprise--MY BLOG IS NOWHERE. My fanfiction account is in the first five results, though
(PLUG PLUG PLUG: http://fanfiction.net/~smerby).
Another top result caught my attention because I thought it was an EncyclopediaDramatica troll of some sort...
Ranald MacDonald of Smerby.
YES. You read correctly. It's like the missing vowels from Woll Smoth and Botmon all ate Big Macs and turned into this earl. Or, perhaps, the original Ronald McDonald got "Woll Smoth'd"...
Either way, apparently "Smerby Castle" is just waiting for me in Scotland.
Here is the only picture I can find of my destined home: